Wish Lists of Knowing What You Want

This year I have felt like there was something missing from my photography. At first I thought it was a lack of photography, not enough getting out with my camera. Which was a problem, but I don’t know if it was THE problem. Photography this year had left me feeling disappointed, wanting, and maybe a little lost. Part of this is because photography wasn’t my main focus this year. I was busy creating products for my business, turning my knowledge and skills into tidy little guided journals in the hopes that having some ‘passive’ income would make it easier to do the things I want to be doing. Like traveling & photographing everything.

I was missing from my photography. I’m not doing the sorts of things I want to be doing. Taking photos, any photos, isn’t enough any more. Maybe it never was, but I’m so used to making do that I didn’t notice.

I long to see things beyond my yard, create art that I can hold in my hands, to immerse myself in the entire process.

I drink in videos of photographers taking photos they love, moving through the entire process of crating a physical photograph, trying to absorb some of that joy through my screen.

I am so thirsty.

Making do is no longer enough. I won’t die, but I won’t live either. At least not physically.

My hands itch to hold a print, transform it from an arrangement to pixels to an original encaustic art piece.

This requires things I don’t have. It requires more that being able to snap a few images of whatever is growing in my yard.

This isn’t a woe is me post. This is a wish list, an outline of a plan. Because if you don’t know what you want, you can’t have it.

The List:

Film Developing Stuff + Negative Scanning Stuff

Printers ( plural because printing photographs and printing images to become other art aren’t the same)

Studio Space With Lightning + Darkroom stuff

Encaustic Art Set Up

Photo Trips

Lighting For Macro Photography

Proper Clothing For The Weather

There are probably other things that could go on this list.

This year has taught me about the kind of traveling I want to be doing for photography, even if I’m only going a few miles. It’s shown me more about the kind of photography I want to be taking. I love intimate, close up, macro photography. Those grand scenes are amazing too, but not my main focus. I am never satisfied when I try to make them the main focus.

There are so many things I want to do and try. I might never get to them all. I won’t get to any of them stuck in my house.

You might be wondering why I don’t scratch some of this itch by doing macro photography at home. I’ll refer you back to my list, Studio Space With Lighting. My house is a dark place with electrical issues and no space. Trust me. I’ve lived here for 20 years. I’ve tried many things to make the best of it with various degrees of failure. It would be amazing to buy some of my favorite flowers from a shop, bring them home and photograph them, but that is a Wish List thing.

What do I do with this Wish List? What is the point of it?

If you don’t know what you want, you can’t have it.

The list helps me know what I’m looking for, to notice opportunities and make sure I’m heading the direction I want to be going in. It helps reduce and prevent Shiny Object Syndrome. It isn’t about complaining, being low vibe or negative mindset. It is simply knowing what I want, noticing at the moment that I don’t have that thing so I can start noticing opportunities for that thing.

What is on your Wish List? What are you longing for? What do you need to quench your own thirst?