Babe, You're a Haunted House Part Four

Closets are full of secrets. Hidden things. Shameful things. Like that totally in style, but ugly as fuck outfit from the 80s. The parts of ourselves that we were taught were wrong. These skeletons rattle around threatening to spill out and ruin us.

Unless you have actual dead people in your closets, (I’m not helping you with those & you probably should be ashamed of yourself) these skeletons are almost always bullshit that society uses to control you. Shame is turned into a weapon to keep people in their place.

Women are shamed about their bodies as soon as we exit the womb. Shamed about how our bodies simply existing in the world make men feel. Shamed about how they don’t make men feel. Shamed for not being quiet enough, obedient enough, rich enough or too rich. Shamed for the things other people do to us.

Men are shamed for not being manly enough (a constantly shifting thing that no one lives up to), hot enough, rich enough, violent enough or getting laid enough. Or the worst of all being too feminine. (boys aren’t taught how to be men. they are taught how not to be women)

The closets we have to hold all of this shame are endless. There is always room to shove more in there. But no space to be shameless.

We are often shamed for things that aren’t shameful at all. It’s important to look at what you feel shame around and honestly ask yourself if it is something actually shameful.

Did you wear an outfit you loved, but society/family/whoever shamed you in someway about? Not shameful.

Did you have consenting adult sex with a consenting adult and enjoy it? Not shameful.

Did you be the best stay at home parent you could be? Not shameful.

Did you send your kids to daycare and have job? Not shameful.

Did the shape of your body change after puberty or child birth or aging or illness or life? Not shameful.

Things that people should feel shame around are the same behaviors that make someone a shit human. Anything else they try and shame you for is about control.