Babe, You're a Haunted House Part Three

As a child, did you leap into bed? Try and avoid letting your feet dangle over the edge or stick out of your blankets?

The space under beds is a dark liminal space. I think as children we instinctively recognize these in between spaces and links to unknown places.

At some point we forget about what might be lurking under our beds because sometimes, the monster is in the bed.

Beds and bedrooms are places we are most vulnerable, because it’s where we sleep. This space is supposed to be safe, welcoming, and calm. Places to rest and recharge. Places to be intimate with others. Sanctuary spaces.

And yet, our society villainizes rest. Teaches us that rest is a moral failing. Hustle culture. The endless demand to always be productive.

That women and children can’t expect safety in our bedrooms. That it is ‘natural’ to welcome people intent on harming us into our beds.

How do you deal with these ‘monsters’?

You need to know which monsters you are dealing with? What unspoken harms are hiding in the dark space beneath where you sleep? Ones that steal your rest from you?

Rest is radical in productivity driven societies. Women are expected to be actively in service of others at all times. Always available to their jobs. The other people in their lives, especially men. 24/7 parenting for moms and part-time or not at all for dads. Some of these things are changing. They are changing in people’s individual lives and eventually that will spill over into society. But it takes longer for societal norms and traditions to change than individual ones.

Rest doesn’t mean doing nothing. Sometimes it looks like doing nothing. That makes it easy for people/society to bitch about how lazy you are. Rest is actively recharging your energy. Rest is giving your brain space to figure things out behind the scenes. Rest is setting boundaries around how you care for yourself and others.

How is the energy of your bedroom? Is it calm and restful? Is it tense?

How do you want your bedroom to feel? Like a sanctuary? Cozy? Sexy?

Clean away unwanted energy. Clearing energy from spaces includes physical cleaning (under the bed too). Do things that help bring the energy you want into your room. In what ever ways you can.